Nondescript

The last few days have brought more interesting conversation and memorable Rose-isms. Mom hasn't been this animated and happy in months.

During TV commercial-

Mom: I told her to call me Caroline (long "i" sound)

Evan: Why?

Mom: Because it's a nondescript name.

Another TV Commercial: Instead of eight Tylenol you can take two Aleve (paraphrased).

Mom: I took two Aleve.

Evan: Why?Mom: Because they, too, are nondescript.

Mom's potassium is a little low, so she gets a little more in her sodium chloride now. She's getting more pain killers, which are helping immensely with her movement. She has gradually done more and more with her arms, and Sunday she touched her face for the first time in many weeks. She no longer has to rely on us to scratch her nose for her.

Mom and I finished The Shack on Friday night. I asked her if she enjoyed the story, and she said she enjoyed it immensely. Next, we plan to read Strong Poison by Dorothy Sayers - a gripping mystery with a dashing leading man and an undeserving heroine. I have strong feelings on the subject.

Sunday evening Jaime read to Mom from The Oxford Book of English Verse. She was unimpressed with half of them, and one of those she liked was a sonnet by Sir Philip Sidney entitled Desire. She liked it so well she wanted to hear it read again, so we called in Evan. He recited it with a loud faux-Brit accent. We all laughed until we cried, and Mom laughed so hard that she covered her face with her newly available hands.

Good Company

Sunday morning was quiet at 10:30 when Suzy's family had all made it out the door to church. I read to Mom from chapter 17 of The Shack, and we talked afterward about God's faithfulness and poetry. I told her I hadn't prayed for her yet, and asked if she would like for us to pray together. Of course, the answer was yes. I offered to let her begin, and she replied, "No, you start. You're the starter."

So I prayed for a while, and then asked Mom if she would like to.

"Are you finished?"

"Yes, you go ahead Mom."

"Dear heavenly father, in the name of Jesus...we are so grateful for...you understand our failings, even though..."

I couldn't understand the rest of what she prayed. Her words were soft and indistinguishable but sincere. I opened my eyes and watched as her lips spoke to Jesus and looked for him under her closed eyelids. She prayed until she fell asleep.


Below are some pictures from Saturday.

Tina and Mom. Again, I had asked Mom to smile, and she gave me a wink.
Devon giving Grandma Rose some good by love.
Evan explaining the mysteries of fossilized rock to Devon. Charlevoix county has lots and lots of interesting rocks.
Evan showing Grandma her latest glamour shot. Again, Mom improvises with the request for a smile by throwing air kisses at the camera, here with Bill and Pattie.Suzy told me yesterday that Mom has been more alert and lucid each day this week. As always, thanks for your prayers.

Changes

When I left for Grand Rapids last Monday Mom had slept most of the day. Suzy told me Tuesday evening that Mom was still very tired and that there were changes in her demeanor and appearance.

Mom can be snappy, but she's always been just one word away from kindness. Last week, Mom was irritated and not very nice to Suzy. This is very unusual behavior for her. (Suzy might jokingly tell you it's status quo.) Her speech became quiet and a bit nasal. She had a difficult time finishing sentences and sometimes repeated the same word over and over. Most of what she said did not make sense, although it seemed she knew what she was trying to say. Much like she was a few weeks ago, but moreso.

When Corey and I arrived late Thursday night, I could see the change in Mom's face. Everything in her face seemed to have fallen a little, and seeing us after three days did not bring the usual smile to her face. She was interacting with the TV characters she was watching, occasionally acknowledging that we were there. The abrupt change was disconcerting. However, at bedtime she kept tradition with a sincere "I love you Patty" and kisses.

Dr. Karkosak thought it was one of two things: the effects of morphine or swelling of the brain from a tumor. We pretty much ruled out the morphine because she had been on the same dose for several days and this change was quick. Dr. Karkosak prescribed prednisone to bring down swelling if it existed. So we stopped the liquid ibuprofen and started prednisone on Thursday.

Friday, Mom slept until 2:40 p.m. When she awoke, she greeted me with a smile, told me she was feeling pretty good, and said scrambled eggs sounded wonderful. By the time Suzy and Corey returned from their trip to Petoskey in the late afternoon she was much more herself. Not to the extent that she was last weekend, but much different from Thursday. Everything that had fallen in her face was back in its sunny place.

Bill, Pattie, Tina and Devon came on Saturday and it was a good visit, replete with conversation and laughter. Tina brought a DVD from Mom's cousin, Eileen Milner, of Eileen's trip to the Czech Republic this year. Eileen and her daughters found the house in Andrejov where Mom's great-great-grandfather lived when he left for America. We watched it together.

This morning Mom woke up early. She is patiently waiting for me to post this update and return to the room with her breakfast. Suzy is making oven baked french toast for breakfast at the church, and Olivia is dutifully and desparately trying to wake her siblings to get ready. So, it's pretty much business as usual. What a blessing.

Mom's last labs came back good - a small rise in her hemoglobin, a small decrease in her white blood cells, no infection. She will continue with prednisone in gradually decreasing doses for a few more days, the Dr. Karkosak will reassess. I'll keep you posted.

The Best Medicine

Last week Mom's labs came back positive for a UTI. The first one in two months. This time instead of pills Mom is getting her cipro through her port. We just take her off the sodium chloride for the hour it takes the cipro to drip in, then hook it back up. Suzy's got it down. However, I messed up on the IV computer while changing bags. It didn't affect Mom at all, it just threw off the cc counter on the computer which helps us keep track of what she's received. I guess there's a good reason I'm not in the health care field.

Anyway, the cipro is doing its job, and so far we have not had to administer flagyl to prevent c. diff. infection. She has been getting yogurt every day with a special additive to encourage growth of good bacteria. Since it's been so long since her last UTI, Dr. Karkosak recommended witholding the flagyl until we knew we needed it. So far, so good - no flagyl.

Mom's appetite has improved. She is receiving her morphine through a 72 hour patch and receives liquid motrin four times a day. She is still taking her Toprol for blood pressure, and occasionally gets half an ambien to help her sleep at night. That's it. Such a change from a few short months ago when we were grinding 10-12 pills twice a day to mix into her yogurt. So much easier for her.

When the television is on, she sometimes has trouble distinguishing between people in the room and people on the program. She has thought at times that she was on TV herself. Last weekend, she was fascinated by several of the commercials. Her favorites were:

• Hillshire Farms - Go Meat! (Patty - those guys are back!)
• Silence Your Rooster (Isn't it cute!)
• Smirnoff (Did you see that?)

The conversation has been lively - sometimes zaney, sometimes profound. We never know what she'll say next. Predictability is out the window. Laughter reigns. Mixed with her snappy sense of humor, her responses are sometimes enough to knock us off our feet. I know I could never really do our exchanges the justice they deserve in the telling, but I'll try sharing a few.

(Motioning to the flag waving in the breeze across her door)
I just hate that thing.

(Mom to Evan)
I keep telling myself I need to get a fly swatter.
We have a fly swatter.
Where is it?
It's right over there.
Well, the flies are down here.
(Pat to Mom, when a small crash sounds from Evan's direction while retrieving the swatter)
I hope he's okay.
(Mom laughs) Oh, he bounces.

(Mom to Evan)
The less you talk, the less tedious you are to me.

(Watching God TV Sunday morning, Mom to Pat)
Oh, there's a guy in the window.
He's a preacher.
I don't care WHO he is!

(Trying to swat a fly on her arm)
Oh...I almost said damn it.

(Mom to Pat, smiling)
I just pulled a pistol on your friend.
You just pulled a pistol on my friend?
Uh huh. (nodding, smiling)
Which friend?
(Pointing to the flag waving across the doorway) That one.

We finished chapter 15 of The Shack on Sunday. The chapter was about heaven, reconciliation, redemption, communion with Jesus - it was beautiful. She wanted me to read it again, so we re-read the end of the chapter on Monday.

Sunday was the Kratochvil family reunion in Traverse City. Most of her cousins were there. Mom has not been out of bed since June; attempting a trip an hour and a half away and sitting up for hours would have been too much for her. I didn't tell her Sunday that she was missing the reunion, but I talked to her about each of her cousins so she had them all in mind. Aunt Dorothy told me later that the family had a moment of silence to remember Mom in their prayers since she couldn't be with them. So, they were together from a distance.

Our I love yous are still heartfelt and plentiful with lots and lots of kisses.

Following are a few pictures from the last two weekends.

Tami, Devon and Mom.

Tina, Makayla and Mom.
Tami and Mom.
What? Not another pair of sunglasses?!Mom laughing on Sunday. Mike, Mom and Tina.
Thanks as always for your continued prayers. They're priceless to us.

Perxactly

per-xact-ly (adverb)
[Origin 2008, from Latin perfectus, to finish + Latin exactus, to weigh]
1. Precisely, completely, to the uttermost. "Is that the itchy spot? Perxactly!"
2. Adequate in every respect; "That is perxactly the itchy spot."
3. Fully accurate; "Perxactly right."
(Darrow Family Unabridged Dictionary of Rose-isms, 2008)

The last several days have been full of conversation. Mom has been talking, laughing, frowning, rolling her eyes, instructing...every hour has a Rose story.

The conversation picked up the pace on Sunday evening. Monday morning, she offered us a new word when she couldn't scratch an itch on her hip. I hit the spot perxactly. Nothing but perxaction for my mom.

This next story is a little personal but Suzy and I agreed I needed to lay aside propriety for the sake of the bloggers. As we started our morning routine on Monday, I had not yet changed my clothes (I usually sleep in my clothes when I'm with Mom). To make things fun and interesting for Mom, I told her I was about to perform an amazing feat by holstering my bosom without removing my shirt. Without fanfare I succeeded and announced to her, "There! I'm holstered!" To which she replied, "Could I have some of that?" After Suzy and I recovered enough to speak, I told her, "Mom, I got them from you!" She shook her head and said, "Well, shame on me."

Mom has been enjoying the Olympics every day. We watched Michael Phelps win his eighth gold. Jodi told me the other day that Mom and Paul were watching together, and that each had very interesting takes on the unfolding events. Paul and Mom have a special relationship that I can only describe as antagonistic affection.

There are so many moments to share, so much laughter, and not enough time to capture it all. But we'll continue to share the highlights with you.

Before I left for home on Monday I asked Mom if I could take her picture. As much as we tried to get her to laugh, she just didn't. We asked her what happened to her smile. She said with concern, "I think I've lost it."So, the picture below is her best effort, but not reflective of her demeanor.

Suzy told me today that Mom had a moment when she seemed sad. Suzy asked her what was wrong, and she said, "I don't think I have many days left." Suzy asked her if she was sad, and she said she wasn't. Suzy told her, "You know what, I think attitude is everything. So what attitude are we going to have today?" Mom replied in song.

Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy

A kid'll eat ivy too

Wouldn't you

Singing is always the right thing to do. Perxactly.

Dose of Reality

The last few days have been mostly sunny in Boyne City, and so has Rosie.
Mom has gradually been moving into medications in non-pill form, reducing the pill-swallowing hurdles of her daily routine. Although pill time has been a great source of character and patience building for us, we'll just have to find other ways to exercise those virtues.

I promised to share some Rose-isms. We haven't sat down to recall them all on paper yet, but here's a couple:

"The eagle is of symbolic interest."
"I have an anecdote."
"Una minota minosa." We don't know what it means, but Suzy thought it sounded Spanish. A quick web search didn't prove her right. However, there is a Czeck word minuta, meaning "minute."

Mom has been talking from her past more and more. She has been talking about her sister Dorothy, her brothers Howard and Jack. Suzy said she talked about her brother Donald a couple weeks ago - Donald was her brother who died in infancy years before she was born. She has asked about her mother, Naomi, and has occasionally called us Mama.

Mom has frequently talked about Dad, referring to him as my husband, which she never did in the past. He was always Dad or Ken. Yesterday she said to me, "I was expecting your dad would be home from golfing by now." After eight years, I still occasionally wake up forgetting Dad is gone, the sting of reality sometimes taking several minutes to set in. How would it be if reality was not so readily accessible? I asked Mom if she missed him. She said yes. Then we moved on to discuss someone on an old TV gameshow she thought she knew.

The conversation is not always in reality, but the inflection, the humor and the expression are all Mom. She told us yesterday she wasn't very pleasant to be around. Evan told her she is our sunshine, even if she isn't feeling like a sunshiney person. Evan is good at cheering his Grandma up. Almost always, Mom is happy and comfortable, and she really is our sunshine.

Home Alone - Plus One

Miraculously, Mom continues to do well.
"Well" meaning she has been free of infection for the last six weeks, free of the associated maladies associated with infection, on only pain killers and a beta-blocker, and fully expressing her personality.
In the last two months, two of Mom's grandchildren have graduated from high school. Paul and Suzy renewed their wedding vows for their 25th wedding anniversary. She enjoyed the Fourth of July complete with fireworks. She celebrated the birthdays of several grandchildren, one great-grandchild, and her sister, Dorothy. Her life has been full and happy.
The temptation is too great to refrain from exclaiming to hospice, "WE TOLD YOU SO!"
Ahhh. That felt good.
Last week Suzy took her kids - including church kids - camping at St. Ignace Sunday through Tuesday. Then on Thursday, the family minus Corey and Jodi took Haley and Ruby downstate - Ruby to stay with son Tim until her flight home to San Diego on Tuesday, and Haley to fly to Honduras for a three-week mission trip with her friend and missionary, Rosalee Melton. I had the privilege of spending the week with Mom - mostly alone - and we had a great time.


Ruby and Mom, August 7. Ruby prayed for Mom and sweetly encouraged her before she left. We will miss Ruby.

Haley and Grandma Rose, August 7. Haley will be back from her mission trip to Honduras on August 28.




We watched Animal Planet, Red Skelton reruns, and Anna and the King. We've been reading The Shack by William P. Young (if you haven't read it, I highly recommend it), and we got half way through chapter 12 before I left for GR. The Shack was given to me by my wonderful friends Deb and Russ Coates during their Michigan visit in June. Deb expressly recommended the book as a good one for Mom and me to read together. It's hard to know whether Mom really remembers what I read, but she thoroughly enjoys my reading it. And in the meantime, I am thoroughly enjoying the story.


Mom has been alert and present for the last several days. She is generous with her I love yous and her hugs. She isn't able to use her hands and arms well, but she moves them much more frequently since we began giving her pain killers regularly. She points, tries to scratch - sometimes successfully - attempts to change the channel on the remote, tries to help while feeding her dinner. She loves to hold hands.


Tina gave her a manicure during her visit on August 3. This was Mom's first manicure in several weeks due to the pain in her joints, prior to her regular dosage of meds.


Makayla saying goodby to Great-Grandma Rose with flowers, August 3.


Tina and Mom, August 3.

Mom's visit with Vital Care Nurse Catherine and trainee Amanda on August 7.

Corey and Jodi with Grandma Rose on August 7. She did smile, just a little late.

Here, I asked Mom to smile. She responded with a wink.